Summer Fun!

Summertime is almost over. I didn't even have the chance to go to the beach and take in the smell of the summer breeze. I pity myself! Duh! Just jokin'! I'm content with staying home during weekends, waking up at noon and watching tv until pbb is up. Most of the time, at the end of the day, I would realize I haven't even went out of our house's door or just step out into our garage. I can't believe I'm such a bum! hehehe... But I learned to love it. I love it when I just stay in my room, with ipod stuck on my ears, contemplating on the notes I posted in my closet's door, looking at the picture of my baby and feeling the cool temperature coming from the aircon. That way, I'm able to avoid the fiery sun outside. That's how my life is. I can't think of anything as fun that. Killjoy, you may say I am but that's the way I love spending my weekend and I'm enjoying it. I prefer doing this instead of going to the mall and rubbing elbows with sweaty strangers. I would just have a swelling sole at the end of the day. I would choose dancing by myself in font of my mirror instead of going out on friday nights and spend my one week allowance on a beer or two. Anti-social, you may think again! Can't blame you for thinking that way. It's not that I am against those people who are party-goers, bar-hoppers and nightlife-lovers. I once belonged to that group. It's just that I don't feel happy around those crowds anymore. I've tried once. I joined my wavemates in one of their after-training sessions but I ended up sleeping the whole Saturday. I decided to go because I wanted to know what I'll feel if I spend a night out for the first time I got here in Cebu (that's after 5 months) but I just got disappointed (not that they're not exciting to be with). I realized it's not what I wanted to do. It's not the way I want to spend my weekend.
Maybe I just have different priorities now. Maybe I have new ideas of fun and contentment. Honestly, I don't know why I eventually got into this person with different perspective. I don't know. I wanted to find the reason why. I looked at the picture of my baby. Then and there I found the answer.

Realizations

Last night, when I was on my way home, I realized how exhausted I was because of everything that happened yesterday. I just realized how tiring it was when I tried to catch time. I only had 15 minutes left before my training began yet I was still waiting for my queue to deposit in the bank. I just realized how stressed I was when I was trying to make ends meet while budgeting my salary. No matter how I tried, it won't be enough still. I realized how pressured I was while I was trying to answer all the questions in our exams but still after clicking the submit button, I saw a failing mark. Awful huh! I realized that as I was taking my dinner, I was in a hurry but no matter how delicious my viand was, still I didn't feel full but not hungry either. Yesterday was just another stressful day for me. I realized that I always got into this situation before, for so many times already yet I still grumble. I never learned. That's why while I was walking last night, I kept on saying to myself as loud as possible (knowing that nobody is in sight) to forget about the worries. I promised myself not to think about my problems anymore because no matter how hard I think about it, it would still be a problem. All I have to do is think positively. God provides. I won't think about anything that would make me worry, sad and cry. I will think that I have enough money to sustain my family's needs. I will think that someday, all of the problems will finally get tired of following me. From now on, I promise myself to think only of the best, work only for the best and expect only the best.